Friday, February 10, 2012

The Big Plan

I want someday to own a tombstone dealership. Not like the pizza, like the pieces of rock that you put over dead people after you bury them.

I want to have this huge showroom and front yard full of display models of tombstones, and on every one I want my damned name and date of birth. When people ask about it, I intend to tell them that if I die, (that's right motherfucker, I said if), if I die I want dozens of graves to have tombstones with my name on them, under only one will be my mouldering bones.

The fact is, I don't want my enemies to know where my corpse is. I don't want anyone to know where my corpse is, because everyone will know that buried with me is the secret, the key to finding my treasure. And nobody will ever find my treasure.

No comments: