Saturday, February 05, 2011

Layers and Layers

  • People are like onions: you have to cut off the flaky outer layer before you can use them properly.
  • People are like onions: generally, it's the part of them that's at the very core that sucks the most.
  • People are like onions: sometimes it makes me cry a little when I cut them up into little pieces, but that doesn't mean I'm sad.
  • People are like onions: it takes a while to get used to the weird texture.
  • People are like onions: mostly used for weird sex stuff.
  • People are like onions: the ones from Georgia are fucking pointless.
  • People are like onions: I always get too many and they end up taking up refrigerator space that could be used for cookie dough.
  • People are like onions: they have lots of layers, but they're all the same.
  • People are like onions: I blame them for my wife's death, and will not stop until every single one is dead.
  • People are like onions: I know a guy who likes to put his wiener in them.
  • People are like onions: they're the reason why I garden.
  • People are like onions: they're all just part of the vast conspiracy to make the History channel suck more and more every year.
  • People are like onions: they smell funny, but that just makes me kinda horny.
  • People are like onions: I hate it when people throw them at me.
  • People are like onions: given a chance, raccoons love to eat them.
  • People are like onions: they have no business being in an aquarium.
  • People are like onions: lots and lots and lots of them have been inside your mom.

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