Friday, April 30, 2010


Whenever some prominent douchebag at a company I work for gets fired, I can't help but speculate as to what they do from there, where their life goes. I wonder if they'll have a full-scale breakdown and become a hairy, gray, dirty drunk on the street screaming about how important they once were. Or maybe, and this is my favorite possibility, the shock of the change sets their ship on a new trajectory. They see how much their sense of self has been hinging on that bullshit job and the bullshit money and the bullshit, meaningless power of the position. They search for their own power, power that is intrinsically their own. This search is a spiritual awakening, they turn to Buddhism, then eventually find the enlightenment behind the religion and become something that surpasses ceremony: they find Faith, they find themselves, and they discover, most of all, the importance of their fellow man. They wear white, flowy cotton shirts, beards, and a mala. They smile softly, speak little, and never try to impose their will upon others.

Here is what generally happens. I see them in a local deli about a year after "So-and-So just got fired!" is first whispered in my ear, and see that they are a year older and still a douchebag.

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